Have you ever woken up from a dream, and wonder "Where the hell did that come from?" This morning I had one of those dreams. The dream was short. I know that because I woke an hour before my alarm, then went back to sleep were I dreamt of two former classmates . . . from junior high! Two people I haven't seen in years, at least 5 years. The dream was that I pulled up in front of a house where I opened the garage and started taking stuff out and putting it in the back of a car. Then my two classmates C who I was sorta friends with, and M who we really didn't interact with each other.

In the dream we made all of two trips from the garage to the car before I woke up. I know that dreams are sometimes the brain's way of working out our problems sub-consciously or they are a product of something that we were thinking about just before we go to sleep. However, to the best of my memory I can't remember ever thinking of C or M or thinking of anything that would remind me of C or M or moving for that matter. 

So after analyzing everything from the previous day that could possibly have led my brain to concoct that dream all I'm left with is:

Where the hell did that come from?

I've been thinking lately about romantic relationships. Not my own unfortunately, because . . . well, I don't have one. Though, funny enough it wasn't my own love life (or lack there of) that started me thinking but a friend of mine, D. Last night we were talking about her break-up from her latest boyfriend, but what got me thinking about common sense and relationships is how she and my cousin always come to me for romantic advice.

I started to wonder, Why? I mean I've gone out with guys but they never turned into anything more than a one time thing. So it's not like I have tons of experience, yet they both keep coming back and asking questions. The one time I brought up to D, about how funny I found it that people ask me for relationship advice. She told me was that the reason everyone keeps coming back to ask me was because I gave great advice. Well that's all well and good, but to me it's just common sense.

So after last night I started thinking that maybe why D and M keep coming back wasn't so much that my advice was common sense for everyone but it was my common sense and plus it was from a third party who wasn't close to the matter at all. Which then leads me to my next question: Once, I get into a relationship does that mean all of my common sense about relationship (for D and M) will go out the window, because I'll no longer be an outside third party, but right smack dab in the middle? My answer is hopefully NO!

I mean, I know they say love is blind and all that, but I hope that doesn't mean that love will blind my common sense.

I'm sure the rest of the states' governments are doing furloughs and letting police officers go to try and reduce the amount of money they spend so that they can use it some place else. But I have to wonder if in this time economic hardship for the public as well as the government if it's such a good idea to be letting police officers go.

In Sacramento (CA), they fired 100 officers. There is this saying that popped into my head when I heard that desperate times call for desperate measures. Yeah, and when people get desperate more often than not they try to take from someone who they think has it better than them.

So, furloughs every other Friday to save money for the state and officers let go to save money for the city. Which will all be funneled to take care of other programs and what not the city and state need to pay for, but if they asked me which I would prefer a broken stoplight and police protection or a fixed stoplight and getting car jacked by a desperate person. I would take the broken street light any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Because in my world view being alive far outweighs my need for a working stoplight. Then again, I'm not a career politician and I still possess my common sense. [Please read the last sentence with sarcasm, because it is a generalized statement about career politicians. It in no way is meant to offend anyone.]

Wednesday, November 12th 2008 my grandmother passed away. I was told that she went peacefully listening to some musicians that play at the hospital and in patients rooms. Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 was her funeral.

It was amazing to me to see all of the people who came to pay last respects to my grandmother. There was close to fifty people, but the reason that I say funerals are funny things are because they are put on for the living who remain behind. The dead have already passed on, they don't really care what happens to their bodies they are all ready in a better place. Though, I guess that thought isn't as comforting to some as it has been to me. I know for my grandfather it's really hard for him, especially at night. They were married for 62 years, and though the last few years my grandmother suffered from medical problem after medical problem I don't think he'd change it for the world. I just hope that he won't become too depressed by her loss, and will continue living and doing things that he enjoys.

I'm glad I was able to say good-bye before she passed, and I'm glad that she went peacefully, because though she is gone for now, we will see each other again one day.

A few weeks back my grandmother fell and fractured her hip. She was in a rehab facility, and while she was there she had several strokes. Yesterday, my family got a call that her kidneys were failing. So we rushed up here (she lives in another state from me) to say goodbye.

The doctors and nurses told us that they weren't sure if she would make it through the night. So we all said our goodbyes last night. Well, she made it through the night, and now I'm not sure what I want to do. It was hard for me last night to say goodbye, and now I'm not sure if I can go in and spend time with her. It's not as if, she's really aware that anyone is there and I'm not sure I can handle seeing her without losing it again.

My heaven, what am I supposed to do? Just thinking of going in there is making me tear up. I think at this point I'll just stay in the community room and kill some time. Maybe later I'll feel up to spending some more time with her.

So I got the answer back on my blood test. Drumroll please? . . . Nothing is wrong. My thyroid numbers are fine, I have high B12 and iron but apparently nothing to bad. The doc thinks it has something to do with how I'm sleeping. Maybe not deep enough or something like that.

My first reaction was "Nothing wrong! NOTHING WRONG! I nearly pass out from the procedure. I've felt exhausted for no reason that I can find, and nothing is wrong?! I don't think so!" . . . Well apparently spending 8 years in medical school they really do teach doctors something. Apparently there is something to her whole my sleep maybe off or something. For the past two nights I've taken sleeping pills (and before anyone screams at me, they are the lowest of the low dose over the counter) and each morning I've woken up with just a little bit more energy than the past two weeks. So for the next week or so I'm gonna sleep with the aid of meds and see if that helps if not I have an appointment in July for a sleep study.

I'm just glad that this didn't happen to me while I was in school. I hate having no energy because there is only so much daytime t.v. and kiddie shows I can take. My computer's been a bit helpful, but since it has been my top choice of entertainment for the past two weeks even now it's starting to get old for me ::gasp!:: I know. My mom has joked that it is surgically attached to my fingers or something. Anyways, even reading is starting to get old for me, which unfortunately doesn't leave much for the ways of entertainment. Maybe tomorrow I try a change of venue and see if that does anything for me. Well at least entertainment wise.

So it's been a couple months since the last time I posted and a lot has been going on in my life. And for some reason I have avoided writing about it, which is strange for me, because I've always found writing to be very cathartic. Well I guess, it's not to late to start up again.

The first and for most biggest change in my life is that I withdrew from law school. For most of my collegiate career I always planned on going to law school. I survived my first semester, got decent grades, but when the second semester rolled around I lost interest in going. So I decided that if I lost interest I shouldn't force myself because I'll probably end up hating myself for forcing myself. So after withdrawing I packed up and moved back home.

Ever since I decided to withdraw I've entertained the idea of going back to school and maybe getting a master's but I'm not sure what. Some of my mom's friends suggested that maybe I could take the cbest and sub. Though, with a B.S. in Criminal Justice I'm not sure of what they would have me teach, but then again I've never been to keen on the idea of being a teacher.

Also, I'm looking for a job too. However, I haven't found anything yet, and I'm bored out of my ever-loving mind. So bored that I even went to school with my mom (she's a second grade teacher at a charter school), then of course now she's on summer break so no more going with her, so again with the being bored.

And to top all of that off, for the last couple of weeks I've been feeling exhausted. Yesterday, I finally went to the doctor's. My doctor ordered a blood test on me. During the test I found out that there was something really wrong because during the blood test I nearly passed out. I've had blood drawn before and I've never nearly passed out. So that's a big clue for me. Right now I'm just playing the waiting game for the results.

 Tagged by
nakedshadows


1) I grew up with the nicknames: Punkin, doll face, princess (my mom gave them to me), and shorty (but I only earned that nickname when my brother grew to be taller than me. I'm 5' 11" he is now 6' 7" just so you all have an idea)

2) I spend way to much time reading fanfiction

3) I can't wait for spring break so that I can read the final Harry Potter with out feeling guilty for not doing school work

4) I have learned that I don't like remodeling, especially kitchen remodels because I can't cook. I've eaten more fast food then I have ever cared too :: blek::

5) I have a thousand  stories in my head and no time or patients to sit down and write them

6) Night school messes to much with my, already prevalent, night owl tendencies to be good for me . . . right?

I tag
frost_light
melissa_writing
qissilver

Happy birthday to nakedshadows I hope the day was everything you wished for.

I'm not sure whether it's because it's december or if my ignorant bliss that drivers in my new city are better at driving than the ones in my old city but either way I have had it up to here :: holds hand 6 inches above head :: Last night I got stuck behind this woman who I swear hates merging because every time she approached an on ramp where cars were coming she would slow down to the point of stopping until there was a break in the oncoming traffic. I'm sure your thinking why I didn't just pull over, I would have except for the fact the space at which the on ramps on the freeway were spaced and the traffic I never had a sufficient chance to match the speed of the other lanes of traffic so I could pull out from behind her.

There were other incidents but that was the most memorable one. Anyway I'm hoping that she was an exception to my belief about my new city and not the rule I've been completely ignorant of.

I heard this from a teacher friend of mine. Anyway the joke/ story goes as follows:

There was this class of new first grades (recently graduated kintergardeners) and the teach was trying to teach them not to use baby talk anymore, because they were big kids. Monday morning rolls around and the teacher begins asking the class what they did over the weekend. She asks one little boy "Johnny what did you do over the weekend?" and Johnny replies "I went to my Nana's house." The teacher corrects him. "Remember Johnny, you are a big boy now and we use big people words. You went to your Grandmother's house. How nice." Then she turns to a little girl and asks "Sophie what did you do this weekend?" "I rode on the choo-choo." "Remember, Sophie use big people words. You rode of the train. Sounds like fun." Then the teacher turned to another little boy and asked, "Jake what did you do this weekend?" Jake answers, "I read a book." "You read a book, how exciting. What book did you read?" Jake thinks about trying to remember to use big people words, and announces to the whole class "Winnie the Shit."

What can you say to that? He used big people words. Enjoy your weekend

I'm studying for my first law school finals. My sleep schedule has been erratic . . . to say the least. I haven't been able to feel like I could fall asleep before 2:30 in the morning for the longest time. Last night I get to sleep before midnight. Finally my first chance to sleep at a normal time . . . Or so I thought. 5:15 rolls around and where does it find me? Half awake, and then I realize that I am awake. Curse my luck and try to roll over and go back to sleep. For an hour I lay there trying to not think to hard so that I can fall back asleep. No such luck.

I thought maybe if I read a little I could relax enough to fall asleep. Again no such luck. My first chance to friggin' sleep in, and what happens? I friggin wake up at 5:15 in the morning! If you can't tell I'm a little ticked with myself, but what can I do? I can only pretend to sleep for a short time before it's driving me insane. So I decided to call it a morning and get a jump start on the day's studying, plus it's chore day.

Oy! - Okay enough bellyaching. I have contracts to study for.

Okay so it's been forever and a day since I've posted, and I feel really bad about that because there is so much that I want to write down and get out of my head and I just haven't had the time too.

Like I had my first road trip, I drove to my mom's house for her birthday. All by myself (Gee, I sound like I'm 5 saying that, but it's true.) I think what I am most proud of is the fact that I got up at 4:30 in the morning to avoid traffic. It was a 6 hour drive, through mountains and farms and flat land so boring . . . well it was really boring that I can't come up with an analogy for it.

My mom says the best part of me visiting besides the surprise of it, was the fact that I woke up at 4:30. I'm not a morning person, unless you count that as I stay up late and don't go to bed until the morning.

While I was in town I visited some of my friends, and one of my friends let's call him R, we don't get to hang out that much so when I'm in town we try too. Well I text him and got no reply. Which, i might add is unlike him. I sent him several more texts and got no replies for those either. It had me worried, but I didn't know how to go about checking on him to see if everything was okay without sounding desperate or needy . . . or his girlfriend, which I am none of the above. So I didn't do anything except a week later text him to ask if everything was okay. Again, no reply.

For thanksgiving I was flying to Washington, while I was sitting in the airport waiting for my flight I decided to call R and wish him a happy birthday. When I called I got a recorded message saying that the number I was calling was not accepting calls at this time. When I hung up I was like "What the hell does that mean?" So that didn't really help me much, because I have no way to contact him and we don't have any mutual friends for me to ask if everything is okay with him. And if that wasn't enough a few months ago we were talking and he had mentioned that he was coming my neck of the woods (great I've gone from 5 to 55 in just a few paragraphs. What's next?) on or around December 1st. Well today is 12/1 and since I have no way to contact him I don't know whether he's here or still planning on coming down or what. Geez, I sound like I am his girlfriend! I am so confused. if you couldn't tell. The only thing I can see is nothing at all, because I have no way of contacting him, and just hope and pray everything is okay.

Thanksgiving was good, very uneventful (compared to last year's were my dad decided to go off the mental deep end). My uncle and two counsins from back east came to spend thanksgiving with that side of the family because we aren't sure how many more years my grandparents will be around. That meal was very interesting. My grandmother can't cook worth a damn, so they decided to get the meal from a grocery store. (Personally I thought that was the best idea because I wouldn't eat my grandmothers cooking if it was the last cooked food on the planet. I know that sounds harsh, but believe me if you've ever had it you would agree with me whole-heartedly.) They had it catered in from Wal-Mart. WAL-MART!! That's not even a grocery store. The turkey was frozen solid. They nuked it in the microwave for an hour and half. I'm all for the power of the microwave, just not on meat or my thanksgiving turkey. I was so happy I had my other grandparents thanksgiving dinner to look forward too. After the nuked turkey nothing really exciting happened. I flew home on an hour and half of sleep, but other than that nothing exciting.

School is going well. Finals are coming up. I can't believe the semester is almost over. Wow! It seems like just yesterday I was moving here. Well I told you there was a lot I had to get out of my head.

Well, yesterday I got my midterm grade back. I was right. I didn't do as bad on the test as I thought, but I didn't do as great as I would have liked either, that I expected. It was such a drama about the tests. Four people's were missing. Three were found and one disappeared to the place where socks go when you lose them in the washer. I felt really bad for the guy who they didn't know where his exam was. The silver lining to that was he typed his exam and they still had the disk that he typed it on so they can just re-grade that.

I'm glad I wasn't one of the people whose exam was lost, I think I would have gone crazy.

Thank goodness today's Friday.

I am such a geek . . . or maybe even an uber-geek. I'll leave the distinction up to you guys. The reason that I think I'm a geek is that I'm counting down the days until a book is released. Said, book isn't your normal mainstream popular book like, "harry potter" or anything like it. All I've even read of it is the first chapter that's posted online. It's stuff like that that makes me think I might be a geek.

Anyways, with that random thought said. Here's my question. Does anyone have any recommendations about how to get into a routine and stick with it? I sorta had one when I started school took a weekend trip and it kind of through me out and I really never got back in it, and I keep getting distracted reading stuff online.

So there's my long-ass question. Any help will be greatly appreciated, even if it's "I know how you feel, but I have no idea how to fix it."

Have a good week.

I had my first midterm on Monday. Scariest thing alive, even worse than the boogie man. *shudders* With that said. I did survive. When I first finished the test I thought "Shit. I'm screwed." I felt like I had flunked it. However, since then I don't feel that way anymore. I still feel that I didn't do my best, but I did an adequate job. I just hope my feelings are right.

Tuesday was a tough day too. I had a huge research assignment due and a presentation. And the good student that I am, *being sarcastic* didn't start on the research assignment until Tuesday morning. I'm goo aren't I? The presentation I was a better student with, because I was doing it with a partner. We were pretty much done with it by Sunday. Personally, I think it turned out pretty good, but then again I could be biased. Actually, I'm pretty sure I am biased. Oh, well.

I don't think I have ever looked forward to a Wednesday in my life, as much as I looked forward to yesterday. No school, no major assignments to do. Just read for today. I know I signed up for this when i decided to go to law school, but I don't ever remember reading that I had to like it, but oh well, it's almost over. TGIF!!

Just got off the river. . . for the second time today. The first time I knee boarded and finally mastered the 180/180.  Yay!! This last time I rode the inner tube. This one was different than any of the ones I've ridden before. Instead of lying on my stomach I sat in it. Uncle L gunned it a few times. IT WAS AWESOME!! The greatest part was I technically never got in the river or wet. I love it.

The one and only groan time was when Uncle L was trying to ski, there was a boat near by full, of guys, drunk guys. They kept staring at me and my friend Dj. At one point when I got one of them staring, I thought to myself was "Geez, yes were girls. GET OVER IT, ALREADY." They eventually moved on. The rest of the time went great. I can't wait 'til tomorrow.

Of course, I plan on being a good little student between now and tomorrow and do some homework.

Just thought I'd let everyone know, that boating ROCKS!!

P.S. I know I sound like a teenage valley girl, but some time you just can't escape your roots. :)

I would ask if anyone notices a theme, but I can't even see one. Though I like it says Lawyer since I'm in law school

I next weekend I'm going boating with some friends from school. I've never done anything like this before. Not the boating part, that I've done, I mean hung out with friends from school like this. In college that didn't really happen because it was a commuter school, and out of all of my friends I lived the farthest away.

People have always told me that when they were in college that was were they made their life-long friends, but I never understood what they meant by that until now.

Of course, the weekend isn't going to be all fun and games. All of us that are going decided that we would study while we were there because we have a midterm the beginning of October.

*squee* I'm so excited. I can't wait.

Well I survived the weekend with my friends. I still haven't fully recouped, but I have the holiday weekend to try, right? Yesterday my friends from school and I decided that we would hang out outside of class. So we decided to meet at a local street fair. It would have been fun if we would ever have found each other.

The fair wasn't that big, but it was the first night so it seemed like everyone and their brother was out. I'm sure when we see each other at school we'll probably realize that we were very close to each other.

It was still fun though. I'm not sure what I'll do for the rest of the weekend. Normally I would do homework but, I don't have any this weekend because we are behind in class. So, Yay!!! no homework.

Off to twiddle my thumbs.